Fin

As you may know (you probably don’t know, unless you compulsively check my blog, in which case you need a medication refill, and thanks), I haven’t filed any new Chick-fil-A-based entries in a few weeks. That’s not cool, and it’s not respectful of you, my OCD-soaked, anxiety-ridden reader, or the internet at large. The internet needs food, and it’s my job to feed it. If I don’t feed it, it gets angry, and when it gets angry...that’s when the robots attack.

What happened is actually pretty simple: I reached the end of my project. And by “project,” I mean “the Chick-fil-Menu.” It felt like I imagine it did when Shel Silverstein found the end of the sidewalk; he got there, and that was that. Sure, there are a few things left to sample, and I’m sure I’ll give them a taste at some point, but they’re mostly variations on items I’ve already covered: different milkshake flavors, wacky salad bowls, exotic sauce packets, that sort of thing. I could go through them one by one, but that would start getting repetitive quickly, and I think I’ve made my point by now. What’s my point? That Chick-fil-A serves up a good lunch, an even better breakfast, and there are a few items (the Chicken Biscuit, the Spicy Chicken Sandwich) that are so transcendent that they’re setting the bar for other fast food restaurants to try and clear like chicken-fried Olympic hurdlers. Those items, they’re transcendentalists.

So, this is awkward. What now? We’re all sitting here in my little blog space, twiddling our thumbs expectantly while we wait for someone to say something interesting, and everyone’s avoiding eye contact and checking their watches. It’s like I invited a bunch of people to a dinner party and then tried to get everyone to help me reenact that Neverland feast scene from Hook, but we’re all skeptical Robin Williamses and no one’s really into it, so the real food never materializes and we all halfheartedly chew an imaginary chicken leg and then call Ubers. It’s exactly like that.

I’m going to put Run For It Marty on hiatus until inspiration strikes and I kick off my next long-term project. There’s a chance I’ll toss off a few Chick-fil-A updates as I work on closing out the menu, but it won’t be a priority. In the past month or so, I’ve churned out a few longer-form articles on such nerdy topics as video games and...video games, so if you’re interested in that kind of thing (nerd), feel free to click on those links and dive in. Also, the musical facet of my relentless assault on the internet is about to kick off, so keep an eye (and an ear?) out. I promise that my music has nothing to do with Chick-fil-A. Unless you want it to. Just let me know.

And with that, I hereby close the book on the Chick-fil-A chapter of my writing life, the tasty first half of my 2015. It’s been a wild ride, but not that wild, because all I really did was write about my lunch. Lunch was good.